Ah, I don't know. I'm frustrated and cranky with most everyone for making life difficult and complicated, for their lack of appreciation for all that I do, blah, blah, blah. The dissatisfaction and sadness runs in my head like one of Josiah's "puffing trains". Around and around, clattering in my mind until I'm exhausted and spent. This week, I've become the negative person I can't stand.
Every day on my ride home from work, I try to smooth out my attitude and be excited to see my kiddos. Even they are exhausting me more than usual. I'm irritated about the laundry, about the piles, about the dishes and constant messes. Sometimes I look at Steve and I all stressed out and frazzled...wound tight with responsibility and the effort to be patient and think, "Who are we? Will it always be like this?"
Can't you tell? I'm usually so good at dealing with these things, but it's been difficult for me to even get excited about wrapping Christmas presents. Steve is the master-elf in the family. He's very talented (and meticulous) about wrapping gifts. This, of course, works extremely well given my attitude of late. Blah.
...although I was reminded of this:
“And in despair I bowed my head: 'There is no peace on earth,' I said, 'For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will t'wards men.'
"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 'God is not dead nor doth He sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth good will t'wards men.'"
These are the moments that keep me going and remind me that there IS good in the world; there are miracles and kept promises and a place to belong.
Peace and love to you this season and all throughout the year.
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