Our weekend...

Also,

New favorite quote to adore:

Source: piccsy.com via Bethany on Pinterest

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & How to Listen So Kids Will Talk

I've just started reading this book in an effort to learn more about parenting and relating to my kids (and any kids). I wear myself out with my constant nagging at them. It's irritating when Josiah throws a fit because he can't have chocolate milk or Lilly screams because she wants the toy Josiah has. And yes, true story, Josiah swung his baseball bat at Noah. He wasn't doing it out of anger, but he was sad because I was feeding Noah and wouldn't play ball with him. I, in a genius stroke of parenting, ignored this and yelled at him then dragged him to his bedroom. I was so angry.

Low moment.

Right off the bat (no pun intended) the authors presented a few ideas that I found useful and challenging in my every day conversations with Josiah and Lilly. I won't give you a whole review of what I've read, but I found several of their recommendations helpful.

My favorite excerpt so far:

"Four possible ways to give first aid to a child in distress: by listening with full attention, by acknowledging his feelings with a word, (yes, uh-huh) by giving a name to his feelings, and by granting him his wishes in fantasy. -this last one means something like this, "I can see how badly you'd like fruit loops. Wouldn't it be nice if we could eat them every day for breakfast?"

But more important than any words we use is our attitude. If our attitude is not one of compassion, then whatever we say will be experienced by the child as phony or manipulative. It is when our words are infused with our real feelings of empathy that they speak directly to a child's heart.

..... perhaps the most difficult is to have to listen to a child's emotional outpourings and then 'give a name to the feeling.' It takes practice and concentration to be able to look into and beyond what a child says in order to identify what he or she might be feeling. Yet it's important that we give our children a vocabulary for their inner reality. Once they have words for what they're experiencing, they can begin to help themselves."

Several months ago (for Christmas, I believe) Steve and I purchased several Duck and Goose books for the kids. We loved their simple stories and illustrations. The one we've loved the most (as in, has been most educational for us all) has been the book Duck and Goose: How Are You Feeling? It was amazing how much our conversations with them changed after they began to understand what each word meant. We'd read the book together and act out angry, sad, happy, frustrated, hopeful, etc. and began to infuse those words into our daily talks. "Josiah, are you feeling frustrated because you can't have ice cream?" "Lilly, does it make you sad when Josiah pulls your hair?" "Isn't it hard to be patient? Remember in Duck and Goose how they were waiting for the flower to grow?"

Phenomenal.

It's really easy to brush off our kid's throughs, experiences, feelings....

I've heard phrases like, "you'll only ever know when you're a mother" or "it only seems hard now"or "it's a phase, it'll be over quickly". While usually meant as encouragement or at least well-intentioned, these words are dismissive.

Gross. I just read through these last few paragraphs and I feel like it makes Steve and I seem all mushy and "everything is about feelings". We're really not that weird. Sometimes kids are just annoying for no other reason than they want to push your buttons.

But...

There is value in this stuff. It's perfect relationship material as a teacher of middle school students (the other age when they don't know what's going on in their life).

I'm not certain I'd recommend the book since I haven't gotten that far into it, but if you're in the market for pick-up-and-lay-down-reading about parenting, this may be a good one for you.

Ah, my Noah. Isn't he fabulous? Look at all his crazy faces:

Three amigos

Result of 5 am wake up

Isn't she adorable? She wanted to sing and "see" herself on my phone. Happy to oblige!

She's been singing the ABC's! I tried to get it on camera but she was so distracted every time! Best I could capture: 

Silly girl

Big brother

I could never live on a farm

It's been a nice Spring Break. Like always, too short and too fast, but I'm not complaining.

Today we took the kids to Paws Farm, a local nature center. I didn't realize it was about 3 miles from our house, so I packed the book bag with diapers, snacks, refreshments, etc. Thankfully, I was smart enough to leave it in the car once we were there. We discovered they only took cash or check (really, are they the only place that does that now-a-days?!) A worker suggested we walk the short trip to Wawa so we could use the ATM. It was really hard for me to hide my look of incredulity and not say, "Really? Would you like to drag three kids there to get cash and back?" I was annoyed but it was only a few minutes round trip.

The whole concept is a nice idea; a small, local petting zoo and play area for small kids. We were disappointed by how run down and old it was. It was hard to read many of the signs because they were so worn. Most the the play equipment, murals, etc. were faded. It was a nice outing to keep everyone entertained for a couple hours, and like we said in the car, the kids had a good time which is really what mattered to us!

I'm not ashamed to admit that Steve and I were scared of the animals. I mean, has anyone really ever looked at the teeth of some of these guys? WHY on earth would I let my kids stick their hands out to feed them treats? We took a couple passes around before Steve fed this one goat...perhaps the friendliest animal there. Both of the kids fed a couple more goats and some sheep, but I wouldn't let them touch the boar, pig or ostrich.

The End of April & Other Things

-this has been written over the last several days- 

Part One: Easter Weekend

Josiah's been sick on and off over the last 2 1/2 months. We've been to the "dockor" several times, but he just can't seem to shake it. Last night was especially rough. He was up most of the night with an awful cough and what I can only imagine is an extremely raw throat. Thankfully we were able to get another doctor appointment for this afternoon. 

This morning, Josiah and I were still asleep in their room after being up all night while Lilly hung out with Steve and Noah for a couple hours. First thing I heard when Josiah got up was, "Hello buddy! Hello buddy!" Lilly was so excited to see him. In return, he said "Hi, sissy!" 

It's ridiculous how much they're changing every day. We're excited to see their communication improve along with their developing interests and abilities. We're working on new chores like laundry and cleaning. 

Easter weekend was so much fun!

On Friday we went kite flying and played with my parents (blog entry HERE). 

Saturday we had a nice day hanging out together and preparing for our First Annual Creel Easter Egg Hunt & Party. The weather was perfect and it was fun to relax together and watch the kids (try) to get the concept of gathering eggs. They weren't that interested in it until they realized what was in the eggs. Candy, candy, candy! Despite going to bed super late, the kids were excellent the entire time. 

On Sunday we had Easter dinner and festivities with my side of the family. My mom always does such a great job at planning/decorating/cooking for family events. Again, the weather was superb. We spent much of the day outside flying kites, hunting for eggs, taking walks, playing ball with the kids and soaking up the sun. The twins were sleep hungover from the last night and took a cat-nap in the car but NOT at any other point throughout the entire day. I was so concerned that they'd be cranky and difficult, but they did pretty well. It helped that a ton of people were exited to hang out with them.

For several of my family members, it was the first time they'd met Noah which made Easter extra special for us and him. He took a long nap at some point during the day and was cuddled the rest of the time. I hope he can feel how loved he is. 

Prugh Easter Weekend:

Grammy and Noah

Dad

Aunt Kathy and Emily

My Lilly having fun

Stud

Mom and I

Mommom and Poppy

Helping the kids find the eggs

My pretty sister (and bride-to-be!)

Peeking inside the eggs

WOW! Snacks!

Family pic, minus the nappy-napster

Creel Easter:

First egg found!

Excited!

Hanging out

Sharing their Easter eggs with Chip

They love their Aunt Michelle and Uncle Tim!

Bandit

Brandon, Nicole and Noah

Part Two: Last Free Week 

I've been meaning to return to my writing with all the stories of the kids that make us smile throughout the day, but it's been chaotic enough that I haven't had the time. This week is spring break for Steve & I. The timing works out incredibly well in that we have this whole week together before I go back to work next week. I thought that I'd be itching to get back into the swing of things, but I'm terribly sad to be ending this special time with my babies. It wasn't about survival this time. I truly enjoyed every moment with Noah and feel privileged to focus all of my time and resources of he and the twins. 

All three of them have grown and developed exponentially in these last 8 weeks. Noah had his 2 month appointment yesterday. The pediatrician said he was more like a small 6 month old. He's perfectly proportioned just big and tall, healthy and interactive. We're thrilled that he's healthy and perfect in every way. 

Of course, I had all these grand plans about things I would accomplish while I was on maternity leave. Alas, I've managed to only do the bare minimum, especially since all three kids have been sick on and off. 

Funny moments:

Josiah woke up this morning and told me that it was a "sunny, windy day". Looks like our talks about weather are paying off. It was such a ridiculously grown up thing for him to say that all I could do was laugh and laugh.

Snuck up on Lilly to find her playing doctor on her animals. She pronounced them all sick and in need of hugs and medicine. If only that was the way it worked in real life. 

We took the gate down to the cat room/laundry room a few days ago. The kids have been helping with laundry; putting it in the washer and drying and putting it into their drawers. This morning I found the kids playing in the litter box. I couldn't decide whether to give into my impulse to throw up or yell at them. 

Lilly loves peeling off small bits of toilet paper and flushing them down the toilet. Though I've repeatedly discourage her of this habit, sometimes when I can't find her it's because she's quietly flushing Charmins.

Another laundry room story:

Our washer does have the option to activate the child lock when the machine isn't in use and will automatically lock when it is. Unfortunately it does not stay locked after a cycle. As I found out today. Josiah had started the washer again after the previous load had finished. And then opened it. And then started it again. There was a decent pile of water on the floor as evidence. 

While I was feeding Noah the other day, I heard a terrible screaming from the twin's room. Thinking that Josiah was torturing Lilly, I raced back only to see Lilly on his back swatting at his head. Josiah was angrily growling and trying to shake her off. Seeing that everyone was still in one piece. I went back to feed littlest his lunch. They have to learn to work it out themselves sometimes. 

The twins have been offering me alphabet soup which they make while taking a shower/bath in one of the many bowls they play with. On many occasions I've been told it's "so goooood" and others that it's "yucky"and needs more spices. Love their imagination. 

We had planned to go on an impromptu camping trip this weekend with the kids. At Lake Atsion, NJ you can rent a 4, 6 or 8 person cabin with fireplace, electricity, oven and a gorgeous view. We drove up to check everything out and reserve a place. Unfortunately, they were booked for several weeks, but we still managed to have a nice morning exploring and playing on park equipment. 

Instead we'll do a few projects around here like installing two new storm doors and soak up our time together. I think both are great ideas. 

It has taken me all morning to write these last few paragraphs. As I am finishing this Noah is sleeping, Josiah is plagued with a runny nose which he's wiping every where, and Lilly is swatting my leg for attention though I seriously played with them ALL day since 6 am when Lilly & Noah woke up. I'm sitting on a french fry from last night's dinner which someone squirreled away and I didn't bother to move and I've just realized for the 100th time in the last few days that I've forgotten once again to get sugar at the store. 

I can't help but think of hot days, cool mountains and blue water on days like today and yet I can't really bring myself to want it any differently. 

Especially when they tell me how much they love me, how they'll miss Steve while he's at work and how they care for Noah. 

They're the best of who we are. Hopefully we don't mess them up too much in the years to come.  

Happy two months, buddy!!!

They didn't want to sit for a picture. I made them anyway.